Let’s get introspective for a minute…Again – Day 59

Hey everybody. How’s it goin’.

As I began to write this post, I came across an article titled “The Three Biggest Obstacles INFP Writers Face and How to Overcome Them.” Clickbait-y? Yes. Still, as an INFP writer, I clicked on the link, and found three very applicable points. If you’d like to read the whole thing and get a bit more insight into my thought and work process, feel free to click on the link. If not, here are pieces from each of the three obstacles:

INFPs color outside the lines: “Writing in chronological order is often hard for INFPs. Their brains see the underlying patterns and big-picture view of things, and these patterns and this picture don’t always surface in a neat and orderly package….When INFPs push themselves to work in a way that runs counter to their natural wiring, they find themselves near tears, paralyzed, and suffering from lower self esteem than ever before. Usually at this point, they give up on writing their story.”

INFPs often suffer from extreme self-doubt: “(quoting an interviewee) I doubt everything, whether I am worthy of making words, whether I will write well enough, whether I will ever have another story, whether I am taking up too much space, whether it matters, whether I should be doing something more useful to the world (somewhere, there must be a kitten up a tree), whether I have the right to write.

INFPs need time to ‘settle in:’ “Working against the grain in a nonlinear manner, combined with the tendency toward extreme self-judgment, brings us to the third big obstacle INFP writers face: procrastination. However, the surprising thing is that even though most INFPs think of themselves as weak in time management skills, they can actually do very well with deadlines…If they feel that someone else is counting on them, this can act more forcefully as a motivating agent than anything else…INFPs set incredibly high standards for themselves, and they may have a somewhat unrealistic idea of the amount of work they should be able to get done in any given amount of time.”

Two good questions to ask at this point would be what do these block quotes have to do with me, and what do they have to do with this post. To answer the first question, I see the sentiments or realities conveyed by each of these quotes in my own writing (and life, really). Each of them are eerily spot on descriptions of how I feel. Each of them are obstacles I think I’ve always experienced in writing.

To answer the second question, let me start with a story. I know that I reference different creators a fair amount in different contexts, and for the most part, that is because I like each of those creators. One such creator is Casey Neistat. For weeks, I didn’t watch Casey Neistat videos, mostly because I’m stubborn and didn’t want to catch the wave of popularity that Neistat was riding. Finally one day, November 19, 2016, I clicked on a Casey Neistat vlog. And then another. And then another. After a relatively small number of videos, I decided to subscribe to his channel. Those who recognize the date will know that this was the same day that Casey Neistat ended his daily vlog, which had been running for around a year and a half. During the subsequent two months, I watched every Casey Neistat video, starting with the vlogs, and moving to the videos he made before starting the daily vlog. In many ways, the decision to start a daily blog stemmed from this series of videos.

Cut to today. I have been thinking a lot about writing (if previous posts haven’t served as a clue). Each of these three obstacles has played some role in essentially every post that has been part of this series, which may explain why so many of them have come out (well) past midnight. The deadline of getting each post written before going to bed has often been a difficult deadline to meet.

Those sensing a pattern in what I’m saying here will know where this is going: the daily blog will be ending sooner than I’d expected. I’d said 100 days, but instead, the daily blog will be coming to an end, and there are a couple factors playing into this decision.

First, like Casey Neistat, I’ve found the creative challenge to have faded from the project. This is unfortunate, since four of my favorite posts came last week, but I’ve had the recognition that there have been some pretty good posts and really bad posts, and two of the bad ones have come in the last two days. The decline in quality has stemmed from a couple different things, but mostly from a desire to do something different.

I started this project in part to have some writing samples should the need arise, but I’ve found few opportunities to actually write posts that would be effective writing samples for what I’d like to do. My desire is to do more in depth research into topics, and then write about them. The daily grind has limited that ability.

Thirdly, I got a new part-time job that will be significantly altering my sleep schedule, and I have every reason to believe that this will affect my ability to write a daily post.

Fourthly, I’ve wanted to create different types of content and to try being creative in different ways, and I feel this format doesn’t lend itself to those desires.

Fifthly, I have a desire to be paid for writing, and looking at different places to start that move, I don’t believe there will be time for a daily post and trying to write as a job.

Ultimately, the deadline I set for myself and the rules I set for myself were completely arbitrary. I chose to write 1,000 words a day, and I chose to set the cutoff for 100 days. Quite honestly, I almost did set it for 60 days, which would have ended the project tomorrow anyways. For some reason, me from three weeks ago wanted to get over 100,000 total words; me from now is fine with being well over 60,000. Expect tomorrow to be a bit more about the decision, the path moving forward, and the final post in this series.

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